No holiday for me
I think I can officially say I hate Thanksgiving now. Last year my grandmother was driving home from having Thanksgiving dinner at our house and she was hit by a guy on drugs and died 2 weeks later from the horrible injuries she suffered. I can’t tell you how awful it was and I am still not the same. I have been dreading the approaching holiday and just wanted it to be over. I am supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant with a baby who’s due date is my grandmothers birthday and I have been thinking of that a lot this past week. I had been looking forward to my Dr visit and ultrasound today but was shocked and horrified to find that the baby had died. I will now be in the process of having a miscarriage this thanksgiving. I just want to crawl into a hole and cry and wake up in spring and be pregnant again. This blog of ours is supposed to focus on the positive and celebrate our family but I can’t do that tonight. This next week or two can’t fly by fast enough for me. I have told everyone I know and tons of casual acquaintances that I’m pregnant and now I have to tell them I’m not and have a D&C and mourn this baby we lost. Sometime life really sucks.
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You’re in our thoughts, and I’m sending your family wishes of peace and strength and healing.
This is a pain I know far better than I wish I did, and I can’t stress enough how important it is to give yourself ( meaning all of you, since the whole family will be shaken) the time you’ll need to grieve and recover and get back on your feet.
Again, I wish you peace and healing and, although we’ve only met once, please let me know if there’s even the tiniest bit of anything we can do to help out somewhere.
~Leigh
Heather, huge gentle hugs for you and your family. I, too, tend to share things right away with everyone I know- it’s my way of gaining support in both the good times and the bad. I hope some of the support you get will help you to stay above water while you grieve. I have admired your honest, candid communication on this blog, and I think you will be comfortable letting people know when to offer comfort and when you need to be alone. If there is anything specific I can do to help, go ahead and ask. Sometimes there are specific things that can help us through moments, hours, or weeks that we wish would just fast forward or vanish while we hibernate. It is really the hardest thing to go through them instead of around them or past them. Take strength from others when you need it, and cocoon when you need to do that. Sometimes life does really suck, and nothing makes it feel better except time, and love.
E-mail or call if you want anything that will make a moment, hour or day suck even a bit less.
~Paula
We are all here for you and we mourn with you.
Kate
i just came across your site, but want to tell you how sorry i am about your loss. i lost my first baby at about 11 weeks as well. my only suggestion from experience is to let yourself grieve and let your family love you. i will be thinking of you this season.
dear Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a scan a couple of days after you (Nov 15), 11 weeks pregnant, and also had to learn that my pregnancy had failed. I had a D&C last Monday. Today is Thanksgiving and I am not sure I want to even go anywhere to “celebrate”. I, too, feel that life sucks right now.
take good care of yourself.